What Kind of Vampire are You Quiz:

1. How did you become a vampire?

A. An animal jumped over your corpse, crossed your funeral procession or you were evil in your life.
B. You were repeating attacked by a vampire
C. You drank vampire blood
D. You were born one
E. A vampire bit you once, killing and turning you



2. What do you look like?

A. A bloated corpse
B. A shiny supermodel
C. Mostly like you did before, maybe a little pale
D. Sometimes a bat or wolf



3. What were you before becoming a vampire?

A. A minor noble
B. A teenager
C. An average middle class person
D. A peasant, most likely dying of consumption



4. What do you drink?

A. The blood of evil people, animals, blood bank blood; whatever you can find without killing the innocent.
B. Coffee
C. Only animal blood and the occasional bit of human food to look normal
D. The blood of your family
E. The blood of fair maidens


5. How do you spend your nights?

A. Stare at people when they sleep
B. Same thing you do every night. . . Try and take over the world
C. Visiting living family members, occasional impregnation your former wife
D. Eat, party, work, shop. . . basically the same types of things you did when alive



6. What does sunlight do to you?

A. I don’t know I’m never out in the day
B. Reduces your powers
C. Spontaneous combustion
D. Worst sunburn ever
E. Nothing
F. It makes you blindingly shiny



7. Does garlic affect you?

A. Yes
B. No



8. What most makes a vampire different then humans?

A. They are dead, evil soulless beings
B. They are undead
C. They crave human blood and have fangs
D. They have different DNA



Points for each answer to follow results to make it harder to see in advance.

Results:

39 or more: You are an Eastern European folklore vampire. You might have just been some poor unlucky person that now is forced to attack your loved ones each night, or you could have been an evil witch that enjoys your new powers. Either way one day the mob of angry villagers will arrive when you are asleep in your grave to dig you up, stake you, cut you to pieces, burn you and maybe feed your ashes to the sick.

38-28 You are a classic lit. or movie vampire. You’re rich, noble, powerful and ready to end life as we know it. Good thing that the heroes always kill you in the end.

27-8 You are a modern lit. or movie vampire. You might be rich, sexy and famous, or you could be flipping burgers on the night shift to pay for all the dry cleaning bills to get the blood out of your clothes. Either case be glad, you don’t have to hide in the shadows forever, as long as you don’t act like a soulless ghoul you’ll find friends both alive and undead. Also vampire rights are just around the corner, if your world doesn’t have them already.

7 and under: You are not a vampire. I’m not sure what you are, but look into mutants, fairies, and rare medical/mental conditions. If you still believe that you are a vampire, please study vampire history and rework your world accordingly. Also some basic biology, animal behavior, etc.


1. A) 6 B) 5 C) 3 D) 1 E)0
2. A) 6 B) 0 C) 4 D)5
3. A) 5 B) 1 C) 3 D) 5
4. A) 3 B) 2 C) 1 D)6 E)4
5. A) 1 B)4 C) 6 D) 3
6. A) 6 B)5 C)3 D)2 E)4 F)0
7. A)2 B)1
8. A) 5 B) 3 C)2 D) 1

St. Nicholas Quiz

-find out how much you know about the real Santa Claus.

1. The name Nicholas means this in Greek.

A. Fat, happy man
B. Joy of father’s life
C. Victory of the people
D. Traveler of the sea

2. The Feast of St. Nicholas is on what date?

A. December 6th, you just wrote about it
B. December 25th, that’s why he is connected with Christmas
C. January 6th, the last day of Christmas
D. March 15th, the ides

3. How are saint’s feast days traditionally set?

A. The day they were born
B. The day they died
C. The day they did their 1st miracle
D. What day is free on the calendar

4. Which of these is St. Nicholas NOT a patron saint of?

A. Travelers
B. Pawnbrokers
C. Brides and Grooms
D. Dwarfs
E. Prostitutes
F. Sailors
G. Children

5. What job is it known that St. Nicholas had during his life?

A. Galley Slave
B. Bishop of Myra
C. Shepard
D. Prince of Mycenaean

6. Why is St. Nicholas known for his gift giving? (According to tradition)

A. He was a very rich member of nobility when he joined the monastery and the abbot made him hand out his wealth to all of the poor villagers in the town.
B. He started the tradition of giving gifts on Christmas as a way to help people understand the meaning of the day more.
C. He never actually gave gifts to people, when translating his life story from Greek to Latin a monk made a mistake causing the confusion; he actually was a gifted story teller.
D. He tossed bags of gold into a house of a poor man for his girl’s dowries to prevent them from becoming prostitutes.

7. What country (using modern day ones) did St. Nicholas live in?

A. Greece
B. Turkey
C. Italy
D. Iran


8. Where is the body of St. Nicholas currently?

A. Greece
B. Turkey
C. Italy
D. Iran











Answers:




1. C. Victory of the people
2. A. December 6th, you just wrote about it
3. B. The day they died
4. D. Dwarfs
5. B. Bishop of Myra
6. D. He tossed bags of gold into a house of a poor man for his girl’s dowries to prevent them from becoming prostitutes.
7. B. Turkey
8. C. Italy

Two More Days ‘till Christmas!!!!

As we have a dozen more things to do before Christmas, we thought you might enjoy this classic Weird News BNI. (Most likely from 2006.)




Weird News B.N.I. (i.e. My paper that I write sometimes.)
Holiday SUPER Edition (really same as normal edition, but in CAPITALS)


Fun Holiday Quiz
Colors and Candles
What are the 3 colors associated with Kwanzaa?
What is the name of the 7 candle candleholder used during Kwanzaa?
What are the 2 colors associated with Hanukkah?
What is the name of the 9 candle candleholder used during Hanukkah?
What are the 2 colors associated with Christmas?
What is the name of the 4 candle candleholder used the 4 weeks before Christmas?
Songs
1. Who is noted as being “not a Jew” and “still not a Jew” in Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah songs?
2. In “The Dreidel Song” what is the dreidel made out of?
3. This Christmas carol was written to be played on guitar because the church’s organ was broke.
4. What does Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks sing about wanting for Christmas?
5. Although the song is “We Three Kings” how many actually where there?
Food
What types of foods are traditional made during Hanukkah?
What is a common Christmas day food? A) Turkey B)Ham
C) Fried rice D) waffles or pancakes E) A & B F) all of above G) none of above
Dates & Times
1. How long is Kwanzaa?
2. When was Kwanzaa 1st celebrated?
3. What is another name for the 12th day of Christmas?
4. What was the date of the 1st Christmas? (Note use the Gregorian or Julian calendar)
5. On what date (day and month) was the temple both profaned with pagan worship and purified according to Jason of Cyrene? (Note use Hebrew calendar)
Misc.
Kwanzaa means “1st fruits of the harvest” in this language?
Do you know the number of different correct ways to spell Hanukkah?
Where has St. Nicholas been buried? A) Italy B)Turkey C)The North Pole – Canada D)Russia E)A and B F)A and D G)None of the above
What famous member of the back to Africa movement created the Bendera flag?
What does Bethlehem mean in English?
Judas, the son of the priest Mattathias, who lead the revolt that took back the temple, starting the holiday of Hanukkah, was called what?



ANSWERS
Colors and candles
Red, green & black
Kinara
Silver & blue
Menorah
Red & green
An advent wreath
Songs
O.J. Simpson
Clay
Silent Night
a Hula-hoop
This is a trick question, although 3 gifts are named in the Bible it doesn’t say how many people came, 0 would also be a correct answer as the wise men were most likely astronomers and not kings
Food
Foods cooked in oil i.e. fried foods
F, “Waffle House”, “IHOP” and Chinese restaurant are some of the few restaurants open on Christmas
Dates and Times
7 days, Dec 26-Jan 1
1966
Jan 6th, the Epiphany, or 3 Kings Day
This was a trick question, no one knows, although some theologians think it really was in spring.
the 25th of Chislev
Misc.
1. Swahili
2. Yes or No, depending on if you know
3. E
4. Marcus Garvey
5. House of Bread
6. Maccabee or Maccabeus

Scoring
24 correct – I didn’t know any of my friends was an African America Messianic Jew.
20-23 – You are a holiday genius.
15-19 - You are well rounded in holiday information
10-14 – You know your holiday well
0-9 - Did you take the test?


Movie Quotes:
Ø “I can't put my arms down!!” – A Christmas story
Ø “Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit. People preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities. One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money-lenders.” –The Muppet’s Christmas Carol
Ø “Wise man: We were led by a star.Brian's mother: Led by a bottle, you mean.” – Life of Brian
Ø “First, I went through the seven layers of the Candy Cane Forest. Then, I went past the swirly, twirly gumdrops. And after that: I went under the Lincoln Tunnel.” –Elf
Ø “You're not Santa. You smell like beef and cheese! You don't smell like Santa”-Elf
Ø “Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.” –National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Ø “Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Let's dance the hora.
Santa Damien: You're a hora!”- The Hebrew Hammer
Ø “Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [talking on the phone] I need you to get in contact with the world-wide Jewish media conspiracy and mass produce every holiday movie that has a Jewish protagonist who is depicted in a positive light.
Chief Bloomenbergansteinthal: So you want me to mass produce "Yentl," "Fiddler on the Roof" and Chaim Potok's "The Chosen?"
Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Right.” –The Hebrew Hammer
Ø “Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.” – It’s a Wonderful Life
Ø “Marcy: Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord.
Peppermint Patty: [while Marcy is speaking] Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa!
Boy: I am Gabriel, Mary, and I couldn't hear you because of the sheep.” – It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown.
Ø “The ratio of people to cake is too big.” – Office Space
Ø “Merry Christmas everybody. And to my producer, my director, my manager and my lawyer, Happy Hanukkah, boys!” – SNL Christmas 1999

Hanukkah Quiz

Hanukkah starts tomorrow at sunset so here is a short quiz on the holiday.

1. Which is not a correct spelling of the holiday?

a. Channukah
b. Xanuka
c. Chanuko
d. Khanukkah
e. they are all considered correct

2. Which is not a reason given for Hanukkah being 8 days long?

a. Because that is how long the oil lasted in the Miracle of the Lights
b. In honor of 7 brothers and their mother that were tortured and killed because they refused to give up there Jewish faith.
c. Because 8 is considered a perfect number in Jewish mysticism.
d. To make up for the holiday that they couldn’t celebrate when oppressed.

3. Hanukkah is first called the Feast of Lights by this famous Jew.

a. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach
b. Josephus
c. Jesus
d. Rabbi Hillel the Elder

4. As you may know there are all sorts of laws on being Kosher, so according to the Code of Jewish Law your menorah can be no taller then. . . .

a. You (max height 6 feet)
b. a horse (max height 7 cubits)
c. a two story house (max height 30 feet)
d. the length of your rabbi’s beard (varies)

5. All of the famous people below are Jewish, once were or have hinted at maybe being Jewish except. . .

a. Madonna (the singer)
b. Stephen T. Colbert (either the person or TV personality)
c. Bob Dylan
d. Adam (as in 1st man)





Answers:
1. e. they are all considered correct. Other spellings include Hanukkah and Kanukkah although spell check refuses to believe me.
2. c. Because 8 is considered a perfect number in Jewish mysticism. There are many important numbers in the mystic branches of Judaism such as 6, 7, 12, and 40 but as far as I know 8 isn’t one of them and I have never heard of it being a reason for Hanukkah’s length. For more info on the correct answers click here.
3. b. Josephus. Josephus was a very important first century C.E. Jewish historian.
4. c. a two story house (max height 30 feet) officially it can be up to 20 cubits high, which is 360 inches or 30 feet to be Kosher. The world’s tallest one was over 60 feet tall.
5. d. Adam (as in 1st man) As there was no one but his family around and what we think of as Judaism wasn’t started until the times of Abraham and Moses, Adam wouldn’t have called himself a Jew or any other religion. Madonna of course is into Kabala, a Jewish mysticism (She would have no problem with question number 2.) Bob Dylan (aka. Robert Zimmerman) was born in a Jewish family, was a practicing Jew for a time, became Christian and then I have no idea what he is now as he seams to go back and forth. And Stephen T. Colbert found out threw tracing back his genetic heritage that he has a 75% chance of being part Jewish.

1-3 right: Come one, you could have gotten 4 right just by reading last Hanukkah’s blogs. Read more WNBNI!!!!

4 right: Congratulations!!!! You have either read the Hanukkah blogs from last year on WNBNI, or you know a lot about it.

5 right: Great job give yourself a gold star, or silver to be more festive (unless you are unable to find a kosher sticker then imagine one.)

A Question to You

We at WNBNI would like to know if you, the reader of WNBNI would like to have a “Holiday Question of the Day” Like we put in last years holiday editions. If so when you would like it to start and what holidays would you like to see included? Please tell us what you think in our comments for this entry.

Question of the Day:

Answer to Yesterday’s Question:Yellow

Question of the Day:

Xanthophobia is the fear of this color.

Bonus Question: We at Weird News B.N.I. have been creating a question of the day almost every day for 5 months now, and we want your thoughts on it. Would you like the question of the day to continue or would you like to see other things of the day, like words, phobias, holidays, facts etc? Please let us know by sending in your comments.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: the fear of mother-in-laws (or at least your’s).

Question of the Day:

What is Pentheraphobia?

Bonus Question: We at Weird News B.N.I. have been creating a question of the day almost every day for 5 months now, and we want your thoughts on it. Would you like the question of the day to continue or would you like to see other things of the day, like words, phobias, holidays, facts etc? Please let us know by sending in your comments.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: Someone summoned for jury duty.

Question of the Day:

What’s a venireman?

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: President, as it was the day George Washington took the oath of office.

Question of the Day:

On this day in 1789 America had its first this.


Answer to Yesterday’s Question: Lutheran missionary

Question of the Day:

(this question of the day is for the amusement of a friend, who will be unnamed. . . OK, let’s call them Vera [the name I randomly picked out of a book, sorry Francis]) Karl Gutzlaff is thought to be the 1st one of these to go to China, having arrived in 1831.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: Paradise Lost by John Milton

Question of the Day:

The copyright of this famous epic poem written by a blind English man was once sold for £10.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: a year on mercury is 88 days, “The Cure for Insomnia” is only 87 hours.

Question of the Day:

Which is longer; a year on Mercury or the movie “The Cure for Insomnia” the longest movie according to Guinness World Records?

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: Uranus (feel free to make a joke about Uranus here.)

Question of the Day:

This planet spins on its side.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: The US Library of Congress, which was burnt to the ground during the war of 1812 and restarted when Thomas Jefferson donated all his books to make a new Library of Congress.

Question of the Day:

Today in history, this famous library was created by President John Adams in 1800.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: Nancy Reagan (the actress)

Question of the Day:

This former First Lady had a part in a high school’s production of the play First Lady.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: brandy

Question of the Day:

During the 1600’s this liquid was often used instead of mercury in thermometers.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: Spam

Question of the Day:

This canned food is considered a good wedding gift in South Korea.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: D: cars were invented already, in fact he was the second president to own a car, he was just too fat to sit in the driver’s seat by the time he was president.

Question of the Day:

Multiple choice: Why did President Taft not drive a car?

A: they weren’t invented yet.
B: he was a Mennonite.
C: he couldn’t pass the test for a license.
D: he was too fat to drive.

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: A septillion

Question of the Day:

What is 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000?

Answer to Yesterday’s Question: 8 lbs. The Britain drinking 9 lbs., the American one.