One Month to Go!!

One Month until the "Super Holiday Special Weird News B.N.I." Yah!!! We just need to get ready for school to start, go to a wedding, and buy presents for the one million birthdays in the start of October and then will be ready!!!! Then it will be all ghost, goblins, turkeys and trees!!!!! We are not at all over excited!! We do not need to cut out the sugar and caffeine at all.

Reasons (Excuses) Why I Haven’t Written Today

(Note: this was writen for a blog contest, not actualy what today has been, but a combination of a few days.)

* I was busy writing this list.
* I need to do more research.
*”MOM! The cat puked on the floor!”
* Great writers like to read, so I’ll just finish this chapter.
* It’s lunch time, you can’t write on an empty stomach.
* How in the world did the kids color on the ceiling?
* The garden needs weeding.
* Where did all the pens go?
*”MOM! The cat puked on the floor again!”
* I really should work out some.
* I don’t like this font, I need to find a better one before I can write anything.
* The kids are being too noisy to think.
* Oh, the mail’s here.
*The kids are too quiet, they must be into something.
*I’ll just check my email.
* And while I’m here I’ll read my blogs.
* I should do some shopping.
* While I’m out I need to buy something for dinner.
* I need to do the dishes now.
* It’s family time, I can’t write now.
* It’s too late to write now.

Also:

Remember that our garage sale is also coming up. It's your chance to buy some of the books that we have reviewed on this blog over the years. Of course, for safty reasons we aren't going to say where its at, even though, it's not at our house. So, go out an go to all the sales that you think might be ours, and talk about how much you love this blog. If your at our sale, maybe you'll get a discount for it.

Odd Laws on Undead Manatee Mating Rituals

* Necrophilia was not illegal in Florida until 1972.

* In Iceland one is not officially considered dead until a doctor tickles their nose with a feather and gets no response.

* In the Cayman islands it is illegal for any animal to mate within 100 meters of a graveyard.

* Manatees can be inprisoned up to 45 days for mating with a seal in Panama.

* Manatees can legaly eat their dead in Key West.

* In Aruba, Manatees are considered fish.

* Vampires can legaly vote in Wyoming, Utah, Californa, and Alaska.

* In 1837 a manatee was fined $1.25 in Homestead Florida for dancing on a Sunday.






Happy April Fool's Day!!!!!!!!!!

Thanksgiving Countdown:

There are only 25 days until Thanksgiving. Because of this we will be daily giving you information on Thanksgiving wither it be cooking tips for the big day or information on the things that are connected to it. So check back everyday for more Thanksgiving stuff.

Super Holiday Specials!!

It’s that time again. It’s the start of October and that means that it is time for the super holiday specials, that special time of the year when we celebrate with non stop holidays until next year. This year we have the return of holiday book reports, Halloween fun, Thanksgivingness, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas and other fun winter holidays!!! YAAAHHHHHH!!!!! HOLIDAYS!!!!!! (Ok, we have it out of our systems now.)

Happy Labor Day!!!

And remember only one month untill the Super Holiday Specials!!!

The Big 2000!!!

As we were doing our daily viewing of websites, blogs, e-mail, etc we looked down to see the numbers on our own beloved W.N.B.N.I., and what did we see. People have looked at our blog 1,999 times!!!!! That means by the time you read this there will be 2000 hits on our blog!! Go ahead, scroll down and look for yourself. You may even be number 2000. Wouldn’t that make you cool and important? Sure it would, why not? We think you’re important. Thank you to all our readers for your reading, keep up the good work!

2007 in Review

It is that time of year when all you here about is what happened last year, and we at WNBNI have decided to be no different. Only we will be reviewing only the best of our blog, as if you want a timeline of how crazy Britney was when there are most likely a million sites with that information.

Jan:
We started the year with holiday info and help with your resolutions.
We made our sister happy with our report “The Rise of Manatee’s Mating Rituals in Popular Culture”. To read the report click here.
Our web editor made their own blog.
And we learned that having an affair is a felony that could land you with life in prison. Really, click here to read about it.

Feb:
We celebrated Black History Month, Edison’s Birthday, Valentine’s Day, governmental stupidity, Chinese New Year, and Marti Gras. And all in only 28 days!
We asked you what you would like us to read and report about.

March:
Pi Day!!!!!
We learned about St. Patrick and the Irish while noting that St. Patrick was actually the only English man all the Irish like.
We learned that pot is not kosher during Passover.

April:
We found out what to do on Good Friday.
We ranted on Cadbury Cream Eggs getting smaller.
We learned how to tell time in Ancient times. Click Here for a refresher.
We ranted on Email forwards

May:
We started “Phobia of the Day”
1,000 hits to the blog!

June:
We asked what you would like to see in this blog, and we are still taking answers.
We blogged from the worlds slowest connection.

July:
We started “Presidents on Politics.”
We ranted on Disney playing Halloween films in July.
We ran our tag line contest

Aug:
There were Phobias and books what more do you want?

Sept:
The Classic WNBNI “Useless Conversion Chart”
We started “Daily Education”
We celebrated like it was 1999, because in the Coptic and Ethiopian calendar it was until the 12th.

Oct:
Super Holiday Special!!!
We started “In Other Words”
We learned of other Holidays in Oct.
We gave tips on stopping Vampires and becoming werewolves.
We learned some famous last words.

Nov:
We had our yearly list of odd patron saints.
We learned of the holidays of Nov. and Dec.
We studied the sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald. To get the song stuck in your head click here.

Dec:
We celebrated Advent, Hanukkah, St. Lucy’s Day, Christmas, and New Years. There were quizzes, quotes, and one guy calling people names.

Two More Days ‘till Christmas!!!!

As we have a dozen more things to do before Christmas, we thought you might enjoy this classic Weird News BNI. (Most likely from 2006.)




Weird News B.N.I. (i.e. My paper that I write sometimes.)
Holiday SUPER Edition (really same as normal edition, but in CAPITALS)


Fun Holiday Quiz
Colors and Candles
What are the 3 colors associated with Kwanzaa?
What is the name of the 7 candle candleholder used during Kwanzaa?
What are the 2 colors associated with Hanukkah?
What is the name of the 9 candle candleholder used during Hanukkah?
What are the 2 colors associated with Christmas?
What is the name of the 4 candle candleholder used the 4 weeks before Christmas?
Songs
1. Who is noted as being “not a Jew” and “still not a Jew” in Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah songs?
2. In “The Dreidel Song” what is the dreidel made out of?
3. This Christmas carol was written to be played on guitar because the church’s organ was broke.
4. What does Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks sing about wanting for Christmas?
5. Although the song is “We Three Kings” how many actually where there?
Food
What types of foods are traditional made during Hanukkah?
What is a common Christmas day food? A) Turkey B)Ham
C) Fried rice D) waffles or pancakes E) A & B F) all of above G) none of above
Dates & Times
1. How long is Kwanzaa?
2. When was Kwanzaa 1st celebrated?
3. What is another name for the 12th day of Christmas?
4. What was the date of the 1st Christmas? (Note use the Gregorian or Julian calendar)
5. On what date (day and month) was the temple both profaned with pagan worship and purified according to Jason of Cyrene? (Note use Hebrew calendar)
Misc.
Kwanzaa means “1st fruits of the harvest” in this language?
Do you know the number of different correct ways to spell Hanukkah?
Where has St. Nicholas been buried? A) Italy B)Turkey C)The North Pole – Canada D)Russia E)A and B F)A and D G)None of the above
What famous member of the back to Africa movement created the Bendera flag?
What does Bethlehem mean in English?
Judas, the son of the priest Mattathias, who lead the revolt that took back the temple, starting the holiday of Hanukkah, was called what?



ANSWERS
Colors and candles
Red, green & black
Kinara
Silver & blue
Menorah
Red & green
An advent wreath
Songs
O.J. Simpson
Clay
Silent Night
a Hula-hoop
This is a trick question, although 3 gifts are named in the Bible it doesn’t say how many people came, 0 would also be a correct answer as the wise men were most likely astronomers and not kings
Food
Foods cooked in oil i.e. fried foods
F, “Waffle House”, “IHOP” and Chinese restaurant are some of the few restaurants open on Christmas
Dates and Times
7 days, Dec 26-Jan 1
1966
Jan 6th, the Epiphany, or 3 Kings Day
This was a trick question, no one knows, although some theologians think it really was in spring.
the 25th of Chislev
Misc.
1. Swahili
2. Yes or No, depending on if you know
3. E
4. Marcus Garvey
5. House of Bread
6. Maccabee or Maccabeus

Scoring
24 correct – I didn’t know any of my friends was an African America Messianic Jew.
20-23 – You are a holiday genius.
15-19 - You are well rounded in holiday information
10-14 – You know your holiday well
0-9 - Did you take the test?


Movie Quotes:
Ø “I can't put my arms down!!” – A Christmas story
Ø “Christmas is a very busy time for us, Mr. Cratchit. People preparing feasts, giving parties, spending the mortgage money on frivolities. One might say that December is the foreclosure season. Harvest time for the money-lenders.” –The Muppet’s Christmas Carol
Ø “Wise man: We were led by a star.Brian's mother: Led by a bottle, you mean.” – Life of Brian
Ø “First, I went through the seven layers of the Candy Cane Forest. Then, I went past the swirly, twirly gumdrops. And after that: I went under the Lincoln Tunnel.” –Elf
Ø “You're not Santa. You smell like beef and cheese! You don't smell like Santa”-Elf
Ø “Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.” –National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Ø “Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Let's dance the hora.
Santa Damien: You're a hora!”- The Hebrew Hammer
Ø “Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [talking on the phone] I need you to get in contact with the world-wide Jewish media conspiracy and mass produce every holiday movie that has a Jewish protagonist who is depicted in a positive light.
Chief Bloomenbergansteinthal: So you want me to mass produce "Yentl," "Fiddler on the Roof" and Chaim Potok's "The Chosen?"
Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Right.” –The Hebrew Hammer
Ø “Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.” – It’s a Wonderful Life
Ø “Marcy: Behold, I am the handmaiden of the Lord.
Peppermint Patty: [while Marcy is speaking] Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa!
Boy: I am Gabriel, Mary, and I couldn't hear you because of the sheep.” – It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown.
Ø “The ratio of people to cake is too big.” – Office Space
Ø “Merry Christmas everybody. And to my producer, my director, my manager and my lawyer, Happy Hanukkah, boys!” – SNL Christmas 1999

Shameless Begging

It is once again that time of year when we at Weird News B.N.I. put together a list of ideas to give the Computer Cultured American (i.e. nerds and geeks) in your life. While you all full well know 1) what a CCA wants and 2) we are only shamelessly trying to get you to give us these things, maybe someone’s grandma will happen appond this blog looking for the web site on Medicare and give a good gift this year. (Not to say that older people can’t understand the internet: my grandparents are online because my step-grandma’s dad wanted to be able to email them, but I once had to write out instructions and post them on the computer so my dad could turn it on and off.) Anyway here are some gift ideas, that keeping with the: you really don’t need help with this theme, can all be found on-line. (Which of course I don’t know for sure how wonderful they are as I do not own then yet, but look at how shiny the picture is.)

*A shirt that actually detects Wi-Fi signals- Makes walking fun and useful
*A set of various sided dice in hematite- Or for the traditionalist real bone
*Plush Ninja – Cute and deadly
*A Sonic Screwdriver- Does not actual turn screws, but why would it?
*LED Candles- used 1/1000 of the electricity of old incandescent candles
*Japanese candies- or are they marbles, what’s with that bunny anyway, are they bunny flavored? Is it a mascot? What the ?!?!?!?!!???!
*Duct Tape Wallet- You will never need a new one, something happens. . . Get More Duct Tape!
*Caffeinated Soap – The Doctor only said to cut down on eating and drinking caffeine

Daylight Savings Time Ends

Tomorrow at 2 a.m. daylight savings time ends, so remember to set your clocks back one hour before you go to bed. Also remember that it is the end of the savings time for daylight, because there is just sooo little daylight in the summer that we have to save it. Also to read a classic WNBNI on the “truth” behind Daylight Savings time, click here.

Classic WNBNI

(Here is a Classic WNBNI from back in September of '03.)

Fill in the Word
(In which we make a fill in the blank story, which as you may know is completely useless.)

1.adjective ______________________ 2.noun plural _____________________
3.noun _________________________ 4.noun plural _____________________
5.verb __________________________ 6.verb –ing _______________________
7.verb-ing _______________________ 8. noun plural _____________________
9.verb ___________________________ 10.noun plural ____________________
11.noun _________________________ 12.verb __________________________
13.noun plural ____________________ 14.noun _________________________
15.adjective ______________________ 16.verb __________________________
17. noun ________________________ 18.month _________________________
19.noun __________________________ 20.color _________________________
21.color _________________________ 22.noun __________________________
23.noun _________________________ 24.verb __________________________
25.verb _________________________ 26.verb __________________________
27. noun ________________________ 28. noun __________________________
29.noun _________________________ 30. noun __________________________













Fall Fun
There are many 1 activities to do in the fall. The weather is nice and the 2 are changing 3. As the 4 5 off the trees, you can have fun 6 them into piles and then 7 into the piles.
This is also the time of the year when many 8 9. Many 10 enjoy going to 11 orchards. At many apple orchards you can do many things besides 12 apples. Often there are 13 of how 14 is made. There may also be 15 fresh made donuts to 16 with the cider. Some orchards even have 17 rides.
In 18 the pumpkins ripen. Finding you own 19 in a pumpkin patch makes for a fun outdoor afternoon. There are many types of pumpkins. They can be 2, yellow, 21 or even white. They also can be as small as a 22 or as big as a 23. Once you 24 your pumpkin, its time to make your Jack-o-lantern. There are many ways to make a Jack-o-lantern. If you don’t want to get messy, you can 25 your pumpkin. Or if you want a more traditional Jack-o-lantern you can 26 open the 27, remove its 28 and then cut a face on it. Then light it with a 29.
Over all fall is one of the most fun times of the 30.

Today in History

Today is the 1 year anniversary of Weird News BNI on-line in blog format. As many people who have read WNBNI for some time know it was also online as a web page for a short time earlier and before that was around since the early 90’s in either handwritten of typed format. (If you hate reading the typos we make, be glad you aren’t decoding our handwriting!) To read a brief history of WNBNI click here.
If you are wondering what is up with that name click here.

Useless Conversion Chart:

A Classic W.N.B.N.I. from January 2004 (we think)

1 astronomical unit = about 93 million miles
1 bath = 2.250 cu. In
1 tun = 252 gal
1 mite = 3.24 mg
1 pfund= 1.1 lbs
1 shekel ( ancient Israel) = .5 oz
1 shekel ( ancient Babylonia) = .3 oz
1 cubit ( ancient Greece) = 18.3 in
1 cubit (ancient Israel) = 21.8 in
1 cubit (ancient Rome ) = 17.5 in
1 hand = 4 in
1 stadion = 622 ft.

[The editors of W.N.B.N.I. would like to apologies for any useful conversions in that chart.]

Tag Line Contest

We at Weird News B.N.I. have grown tired of our current tag line/blog description/page filler of “A Fun Waste of Time”. And so we would like to know what you, the reader of this blog, would like that line to say. We have thought up a few and will list a pro and con for each one, but feel free to think up your own and in either case let us know what you think with a comment on this blog.

* Batteries Not Included
+ This is classic WNBNI (click here for WNBNI history)
- It is now already part of the title

* A Fun Waste of Time
+It would be no work at all to use this
- WNBNI is worth the time ;)

*FEDS approved (Flat Earth Debate Society- Hickville/international Chapter)
+ Sounds impressive
-FEDS unofficially disbanded April 1st, 1998

*Information you can find elsewhere but won’t bother looking
+mostly true, most everything is online today
- we do have some original content

And so tell use what you think.

Note:

Hey, we are at 365 post, that's one for every day of the year. So if you just happened on this site by clicking "next blog" on some other blog or by a random search, come on back again with 365 post you'll have to find something you like. And remember we've only been at this since the end of October, so it's more then one blog a day!

News Flash

We at Weird News BNI have just gotten some disturbing news. It appears that Cadbury Cream Eggs are smaller this year then in pass ones. Also the chocolate coating has been changed. Although we as of yet do not have any option on the change in the shell. (As we have not yet tasted it) We are outraged at the change in size. It is bad enough that we have to wait until Easter time to buy the eggs. Forcing us to carefully ration out eggs the remainder of the year. But to make them smaller too!!!! It's not like it is a big enough change that we now could eat 2 at a time. But you know it will mean that we have to adjust how long that they have to thaw out and how long that
they will be good with out needing to be kept cool. Also it will most likely mean that the insides go from that real egg like combination of liquid and jellness to the solid fluff stage quicker. And although the solid but fluffy inside (NOT the hard crystallized sugar) stage is nice; it's not as good as the fresh eggs. -T

The History of Ideas

Today in Inventers’ Day in honor of Edison the inventor of the light bulb (OK, he didn’t really invent the 1st light bulb, but no one remembers any of the other inventers.) and about 5 million other inventions. Which of course makes everyone ask the question, “What did people use to show that they had a great idea before the light bulb was invented?” We at weird news BNI have fully researched it and will now share with you “The History of Ideas.”
At the dawn of time when one had an idea the sun appeared above their head. As at that time the sun was often thought to be a god or the home of one, inventers soon were revered as gods as well. This belief helped cause the rapid growth in societies that accrued at that time. Why go threw all the effort of making spears when pointy sticks work fine? Because the gods said too! This is why Akhenaten, the pharaoh who invented a new religion, created a new capital and invented a new style of art is pictured with the sun’s rays around him, while other pharaohs weren’t, even thought they were thought to be gods, while Akhenaten created a monotheistic religion, there forth, making him not a god. (And the one god in his religion, Ra, the sun god.)
This use of the sun to show an idea continued on until near the end of the Roman Empire when it was switched to candles, creating the dark ages. While the sun was million of miles away and only looked like it was behind the person, candles appeared directly above them, causing burns, fires, and even death. It was a dangerous time to be an inventor, who knows what great idea could be the death of you. Inventers spent most of their time trying to not think of ideas, only on the occasional rainy day setting out to think up ways to fireproof one’s head.
This continued until one brave soul invented the enclosed lantern, which then was used to show off ideas. This directly led to the renaissance and improvements to the lantern helped to launch every time of great ideas before the light bulb was created. This includes the creation of the light bulb. Which was adopted as the way to show off an idea only five years after it was first invented. –BS.

More Long Forgotten Laws being Used.

Some of you might remember a few years ago in Michigan a long forgotten law, making it illegal to curse or swear in front of women and children, was actually used in a trial. And the judge ruled that it was still illegal to curse in front of children, but not illegal to do so in front of women. Now another old law is going threw the court system. And as it stands now any one having an affair can be charged with first-degree criminal sexual conduct, which is a felony with a sentence of up to life in prison. Now from what we can gather this law is being used not by an upset prosecutor with a cheating spouse, but to bust up a drug/sex ring. Although we can’t say for sure as we heard about it on the Colbert Report last night, and we went to their source the Detroit Free Press but they charge $2.95 just to read the full article, which is insane, (and just another reason to not buy their union crushing paper.) so we only have the first paragraph. (And we’re too lazy to try all the other papers for it.) But, we think this is a great idea for the average couple too. Why should to poor cheated on spouse have to go threw a long drawn out divorce, spending all their money on lawyers when they can send the jerk to jail where they will never have to see them again and keep everything. And then if later they want to divorce they can just sell off all their soon to be ex’s favorite things so that they can use it for child support later. Of course, this law will still most likely only be used in the most extreme cases, because think of what the strain it would be on an already overfull jail system, but imagine all the ways it can now be used to make jerks suffer. (“If you don’t leave her, I’m calling the cops.” or “If you don’t give me the house in the divorce I going to bring up the emails I have of your’s from Raul.”) Yahhh!!!! Blackmail!!! -T